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Fanboy Stinks/Transcript
opens at the Fanlair Chum Chum: voiceover Bleh! No, that's not it. sniff this point, Chum Chum is shown. He is rummaging through the fridge Chum Chum: singsongy Horrible stench? Where are you? Hmm, maybe it's this cottage cheese. sniffs YEEEEEEUUUGGGH. the camera Smells like that cheese died in that cottage. walks by in the foreground Fanboy: humming What'cha doin', my pocket-sized amigo? Chum Chum: Some horrible smell woke me up this morning, and I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from. Fanboy: A horrible smell, you say? Is...THIS the reek you seek?!? he's dirty all over Chum Chum: UGH! You smell like if a foot and brussels sprouts had a baby eyes well with tears, due to the bad smell...who pooped its diaper. Fanboy: And how! You see, Chum Chum, modern man has forgotten what the caveman once knew: Stink goooooood! a hose of water Ah! What are you doing?! Chum Chum: hose I'm trying to hose off the stink! Fanboy: Ee, ah! Wah! Water no touchy! Ah! No washy! Water bad! I'm shooting for the world record: Longest time without taking a bath! Okay? Chum Chum: off hose Okay! Then if it's all right with you, I'm gonna keep my face in this. then sticks his face into cottage cheese Oh, yeah, that's better. to the cafeteria at school. Five seagulls are attracted to Fanboy's stink Fanboy: Pleh! What is it with these gulls? Chum Chum: Well, you smell like a dead crab. Fanboy: arm With a hint of butt. to grab milk carton Chum Chum: something growing on Fanboy's hand Hey, what's that on your hand? Fanboy: Ewwww, I'm growing mushrooms. the camera I am dis-gust-ing! Whoo! Chum Chum: UHHH! I gotta take this off! off nose OOOOOOOOH! It's no use. I can smell you through my ears! leaves Fanboy: Okay, smell you later! Chum Chum: offscreen Not if I smell you fir -- Chum vomits Fanboy: Time for some liverwurst. mouth full It's got a real bite. It tastes worse than it smells. Voice: Psst. Fanboy: Huh? Voice: Hey! Pally! You want to break me off a piece of that? looks over and sees that the right glove of his suit has became self-aware Suit: Clothes got to eat too, over here, come on! Fanboy: Whoa! Suit, you're alive! But how? Suit: You know that old saying, "You don't wash that suit, it's gonna walk around by itself"? That's me! Call me Stinks. Fanboy: Wow! Nice to meet ya, Stinks! Stinks: Old Stinks here's a little hungry, you know what I'm sayin'? Chuggy You think that kid over there will share his sandwich with us? Fanboy: Ehhhh, ewwww, I don't know. Chris Chuggy always cleans his plate. Rumor has it, sometimes he even eats his plate. Stinks: You could convince that kid of anything! You got charm coming out the strazool! Fanboy: sheepishly Eh-heh-heh-ho. I have to say, Stinks, you are one flattering suit. sneak over to Chuggy Chris Chuggy: Ah... Fanboy: Hey, Chris! Chris Chuggy: Er? Fanboy: Ahem. My -- mmm, suit -- and I were wondering if you'd share -- Chris Chuggy angrily Wah, wah. Whoooaaa. Stinks: Oh, don't want to share, huh? stink into Chuggy's face How do you like that? sniffs the stink and is so grossed out, groans, then his face and arms sink into his body and he rolls out Fanboy: Wo-ow! Stinks: laughing What'd I tell you, pal? Now let old Stinks here have a taste. eats sandwich Fanboy: Hey, they have pudding. I wonder if they'd like to share too... Stinks: Let's find out. go over to Lupe, Michael and Nancy Fanboy: Hey, guys. Haaaave you met stinks? releases his stench. Nancy and Michael are so grossed out they jump into Lupe's mouth and Lupe flies them away a table where three cheerleaders are sitting Fanboy: Helloooo, ladies! a megaphone to release stench Cheerleaders: Ehhhh! Cheerleader 1: Gimmie an ewwww. Cheerleader 2: Two, four, six, eight! I think I might regurgitate! Bleh. Cheerleader 3: Let's gooooo away! constantly form pyramids as they jump out Fanboy: mouth full Wow, Stinks, this is incredible! It's like people see us in a whole new way, maybe because their eyes are watering. Stinks: Hey, we're just gettin' started. To the good life. raise milk cartons as a toast and drink Fanboy: Ew, it's curdled. AHHHH. Stinks: Yeah, you get used to it. the classroom... Hank: Homework, please, homework, please. Turn in your papers. Fanboy: gasp Oh, no! I forgot my paper. Stinks: Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. Hank: Papers. waves his stench in front of Hank, causing his eyes to roll Stinks: You don't need to see our papers. Hank: I don't need to see your papers. Stinks: You think you'll go grab 40 winks in the teachers' lounge. Hank: I think I'll go grab 40 winks in the teachers' lounge. Fanboy: Uh, wearing this pretty hat. Hank: Wearing this pretty hat. humming Fanboy: Yeh! So what was that? Some sort of stink-eye mind trick? Stinks: Yeah, something like that. I call it the...Fuhgeddaboutit! laughs the hallway, Chum Chum sees a banner reading "CHARITY BAKE SALE TONIGHT!" Chum Chum: The Charity Bake Sale's tonight?! I'd better get started on my pecan log. Nancy: Uh, Chum Chum? Maybe this year you shouldn't make your pecan log. We still haven't been able to get rid of last year's. tries to use Brenda's crane to pick up last year's pecan log but fails Poopatine: The force is strong with this pecan log. Chum Chum: Oh, you're right. We need a fresh pecan log! I'm on it! leaves is walking down the hallway with Stinks Students: Gross!/Ew!/Whoa!/Grody!/Ruined!/It's disgusting! Fanboy: Chum Chum run Hey, Chum Chum! You'll never believe what happened to my suit! Chum Chum: No time to smell: pecan log! Fanboy: Chum Chum doesn't know what he's missing, stinks. I'm having the time of my life! And I'm learning so much. Stinks: Yeah, you done good, kid. Now it's time we cook up...a bake job! Fanboy: A bank job? Stinks: No. bake sale ad A bake job. You see this bake sale? We're gonna rob it! We'll be up to our wrists in pastries. laughs Fanboy: Rob? Question: isn't that like stealing? Uh, and then a follow-up question: Isn't stealing wrong? Stinks: laughs You're funny, flatsie. You amuse me. Like a clown. Fanboy: Heh, yeah. You know what might be funnier than robbing the bake sale? If we just...Fuhgeddaboutit? nervously Stinks: You turning squirrelly on me? Fanboy: Me, squirrelly? Don't be silly. like a squirrel and eats an acorn Stinks: Why, you... acorn away You gonna come along with me on these things I have to do or what?! Fanboy: Heh. Sure thing, Stinks. Heh, heh. I'm your right-hand man. Later... Stinks: Okay, listen up. Since you never done a bake job, I'll keep it simple. First, we blanket the area in stink, clearing out any potential witnesses. Then, we empty out the cupcake table. Then, we move over to assorted breads and puffs. And on our way out, we hit the big-ticket item: Hello, pecan log! You think you can handle that? Fanboy: Uh, well, actually -- Stinks: Good! I gotta hit the little hand's room before the job. Fanboy: Whew. dragged Ah! Stinks and Fanboy enter the men's room Stinks: Oh, I work alone here! Fanboy out Fanboy: Gah! hums from inside the men's room. Chum Chum struggles by with his newly made pecan log Chum Chum: grunting Fanboy: Chum Chum! I'm so glad you're here. My suit came to life, and it's making me rob the Bake Sale. I need your help! Chum Chum: Good news!!! I put plugs in my nose and my ears so I can't smell you! Isn't that great?! Chum repeatedly exhales and inhales, showing the plugs. He continues struggling Fanboy: loudly Chum Chum! You don't understand. We got to stop the suit! comes out of the men's room. He isn't very happy now Stinks: Stinks never figured ya for a rat, kid. Fanboy: Me, a rat? Don't be silly. like a rat and eats a slice of cheese Stinks: Guh. cheese away Why you...let me clear out your ears so you hear this real good. cleans Fanboy's ears Fanboy: Hey, that's not comfortable. Stinks: Now, you listen here, flatsie. I call the shots. And anybody don't like it gets whacked. Fanboy: Uh, whacked? Stinks: Fanboy I'm a hand, I whack things! Now, don't make me whack ya again! Fanboy: Okay. Stinks: That's a good boy. Now let's go. Fanboy Fanboy: Ah! night at the Bake Sale in the hallway... Fanboy: thinking Why, why, why didn't I wash my suit? Then stinks wouldn't have come to life. gulp Ooh, my throat is dry. Oh, a drinking fountain. Oh, wait. That's the crazy fountain that sprays me. normal Hmm... to a time Fanboy got repeatedly sprayed by the fountain Fanboy: sprayed Who? sprayed again WHO?!? sprayed yet again Ah! Oh, you! of flashback Fanboy: thinking That's it! That water fountain's so crazy, it just might work! Stinks: Oh! Snap out of it! It's almost showtime. Fanboy: I'll show you! You're all washed up, Stinks! presses the trigger of the crazy fountain, but the water comes out normally Fanboy: Wha? Where's the crazy spray?! Poopatine: I think you'll find the water fountain is fully operational. Fanboy: But -- but-- Poopatine: You're welcome. nose and leaves Stinks: So, you was tryin' to get me to go clean, huh? Of all the dirty tricks. Fanboy Fanboy: Dah! Stinks: Well, nobody tries to rinse Stinks out, we're robbing this joint whether you like it or not! Fanboy Fanboy: Ah! You're getting that pecan log over my smelly body, Stinks! begin to wrestle to Chum Chum Chum Chum: grunting I got my pecan log! pecan log on Nancy's booth It's really dense this year. log breaks off part of the booth Chum Chum: whispering I ran out of sand, so I used gravel instead. Nancy: Great, Chum Chum. Why don't you put it over there? Chum pushes the pecan log, grunting to Fanboy and Stinks Stinks: Fanboy's nose Give it up. Chum grunts and puts the pecan log on Lupe's booth. It seesaws down, sending Lupe up high into the air. She lands, sending the pecan log flying. It hits the crazy water fountain and the water in the pipe sprays out and hits Stinks Fanboy: sighs Yo/Kyle/Duke/Nancy: chewing Fanboy: Guh... Stinks: Oh, no! My beautiful dirt! It's gettin' rubbed out! coughs Fanboy: Forgive me, Stinks. I didn't want it to end this way. It's just...I wanted to smell bad, not to be bad. Stinks: wheezes Hey, kid. to him to come forward Fuh...fuh...geddaboutit. faints to the ground and vanishes from Fanboy's glove. The stink from Fanboy comes off and absorbs into the puddle, turning into a dirty puddle of stink Fanboy: lowly I'll never forget ya, Stinks. normal Well, I'm glad that's over. admires Fanboy as he is all shiny and clean now Chum Chum: Hey, your stink's gone! I guess that means no world record! Fanboy: That's okay, Chum Chum. I have a backup: Most days without brushing my...teeeeeeth! Chum gags as the stink from Fanboy's teeth knocks the plugs out of his nose and ears. He can't take it Fanboy: Come on, buddy, I'll take you home. leave. Unbeknownst to them, the stink puddle, noticed by everyone, flows over to Poopatine, who is trying to fix the water pipe Poopatine: Ohhhhhh. stink puddle gets under Poopatine's feet, which grow faces. Stinks is back, and he laughs mainically. This is, however, Poopatine's problem now lol Category:Transcripts